Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Instead


I should be cleaning up the mess from a birthday party.
I should be thinking about potty training.
I should be talking about pre-school.
I should be chasing after a toddler.

Instead I'm sitting here crying, unable to breathe. I miss you so much my whole body aches. I can't stop thinking about the last time I held you, the last time I saw you, the last time I laid in bed and rubbed my belly while I sang to you. This isn't fair. Two years later and I'm still not able to fully accept that I won't ever get the chance to watch you grow up. I wonder what I could have done differently that would make it all right. I wish I could have woken you up this morning with kisses and birthday presents. I wish I could show you just how loved you really are.

Happy second birthday my sweet Gregory.

Love,
Mommy

6 comments:

Coggy said...

I'm so sorry Froggy-Mommy, so sorry. Thinking of you and Gregory, what a beautiful and heartbreaking picture of you both. I wish it was all different. x x

Monica said...

Oh sweetie.. it's still so hard isn't it. I'm thinking of you today.

Monica H said...

What a beautiful picture of you both. THank you for sharing it with us. I wish I were reading about his birthday party. I wish he were here with you and I am so sorry he isn't. I wish things were different- for us all.

Happy Birthday wishes to you Gregory.

Angel Mom said...

I'm so sorry. It just isn't fair and I wish he were here with you. Happy birthday, Gregory.

Rosepetal said...

Happy belated birthday sweet Gregory

bhavna said...

Bathing is an enjoyable time between you and your baby. Your new born baby during the first six weeks does not necessarily need a full bath every day. A soft wash cloth or cotton wool and some warm water will do to clean him up.Baby bathing is fun